tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC January 31, 2012 12:35am-1:35am EST
of the united states, [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: hey, everybody! thank you so much! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. everyone is talking about the presidential election, and check this out. in a new round of campaign ads, republican candidates have accused mitt romney of being too far to the left. [ light laughter ] which explains why today, romney received an endorsement from the baltimore ravens kicker. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] well, the super bowl is almost here, you guys. and get this. i read that americans will eat about 450 million chicken wings on super bowl sunday. [ cheers ] or as thanksgiving turkeys put it, "who's laughing now, chickens? huh?" [ laughter and applause ] i guess the chickens were laughing at turkeys thanksgiving time? >> steve: they hate them. >> jimmy: yeah, they hate each other. >> steve: it's a well-known fact. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: some -- some business news. the olive garden is trying to attract more customers by remodeling its restaurants.
step one -- they're taking down the sign that says "the olive garden." [ laughter and applause ] pretty -- pretty quick fix. oh, listen to this. kenny g. [ laughter ] kenny g. announced that he will host a cruise to alaska next year. man, that will be so fun. [ laughter ] when the pool dj is like, "everybody, grab your pina coladas 'cause it's time to party!" [ slow kenny g. music ] [ laughter ] ♪ "we're going all night with this one!" [ laughter ] oh, i just saw this, you guys. nintendo announced that it lost more than $800 million in the last year. yeah, not good. in fact, today, luigi traded in his mario kart for a '93 taurus. it was --
[ laughter ] mario's struggling, too. last night, instead of jumping on a turtle, he just grilled it over a garbage can fire. [ laughter ] ♪ dark days, my friend. ♪ [ as mario ] >> steve: hey, it's-a me, mario. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, this is cool. last week, a new night club opened in brazil called facebook. [ laughter ] it's right next to the retirement home called myspace. have you -- [ laughter ] they play jams like this. [ slow kenny g. music ] [ laughter ] ♪ "let's slow things down a bit." speaking of the internet, pope benedict recently said that people are using the internet too much in their daily lives, which only goes to prove one thing. the pope's never seen this. [ nyan cat music ] ♪ [ laughter ] i could watch that for hours. [ laughter ]
nyan cat. and finally, a school in utah is banned from calling its team the cougars over worries that it could offend women. [ laughter ] so, they're just going to go with their second choice -- the milfs. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: boy, oh, boy. we got a big show tonight! she just got nominated for an oscar for her movie, "albert nobbs." she's the best. glenn close is here! [ cheers and applause ] my buddy. pump it, pump it. from the hit showtime show, "shameless," the beautiful emmy rossum is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] she's fun. and nada surf will be playing for us later on tonight! [ cheers and applause ] nada surf. that is spanish for "no surf." no surf.
>> steve: nada. >> jimmy: no surf. nada surf with a deep voice. hey, you guys, in case you haven't heard, this week, we're taking our show on the road for the first time ever. we're going to indianapolis for the super bowl! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we're taping four shows at the hilbert circle theatre in downtown indy on wednesday, thursday and friday. and then, on sunday night, we're doing a live show after the super bowl. our first live show ever. something's going to go wrong. [ laughter ] yeah. we got some crazy stuff planned, so please come see us if you're in indianapolis. or watch us after your super bowl party. it's going to be fun times, you guys. thanks. [ cheers and applause ] i can't wait. >> steve: i can't wait to streak. >> jimmy: can't wait. i've been doing -- i've been doing a lot of flying lately. and i got to say, i don't mind it. i like it. because you know why? two reasons. i go there for a couple hours. i can just sit back and read a good book with no distractions. i call it "sky reading." >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: i know what you're thinking. you're thinking, "that sounds great, jimmy. big deal.
but how do i avoid sky reading a book that's a stinker?" right? take it easy, bud, and relax. 'cause i'm about to show you some books you should avoid in my latest installment of my "do not read" list. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ do not read do not read do not read these books ♪ ♪ these books >> jimmy: now, before we start, i just want you all to know that every book i'm about to show you is 100% real. these are actual books. you can see them on amazon or check them out at your local library. they are real. all right, let's see what's on my "do not read" list. oh, this first one's great. yeah, yeah. this is a romance novel. "billionaire's jet set babies." [ laughter ] by catherine mann. every woman's fantasy -- a jet setting billionaire with multiple babies. [ laughter ] love that they put the word "desire" on the side just in case you weren't sure what type of emotion you'd feel while reading this. [ laughter ] oh, desire, yeah. >> steve: this what to expect when expecting? >> jimmy: and look at this. they must -- they apparently have so many billionaires and babies titles, they had to create a logo for it. [ laughter ] so people can find it while this -- "i can't -- oh, it's the billionaires and babies series."
this next one is good. this is a great book. i read this -- i've read this a couple times. "if we can keep a severed head alive" by chet fleming. [ laughter ] how often does this question come up? [ laughter ] i guess often enough that you need a 450-page book to tell you how to keep a severed head alive. >> steve: maybe the disney corporation reads that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, actually it's ted williams. >> steve: is it really? >> jimmy: yeah, it's by ted williams. [ laughter ] battle of the frozen heads? >> steve: yeah. that's what i said. >> jimmy: isn't that weird? >> steve: yeah, true. not making it up. >> jimmy: yeah, it's just true, right? yeah. this is a good book right here. >> steve: oh, i love it. >> jimmy: if you like exercise books. "jogging with jesus." [ laughter ] you guys love it. yeah. pretty awesome outfit that dude's wearing. [ laughter ] the back is good, too. he's just casually resting against a flag pole. [ laughter ] taking a breather. taking a little breather. >> steve: i like how relaxed he looks on the front cover. >> jimmy: yeah, he's just chilling out, jogging, man. he's not even breaking a sweat. >> steve: he's going to break a few fingernails from those
clenched fists. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a weird thumb move. he's holding his thumb like that. [ light laughter ] weird. but i found that's not the only c.s. lovett book. he's got another one out there. it's called, "help lord, the devil wants me fat!" [ laughter ] it's kind of a cookbook, i guess. look at that. big meals are out for me. [ laughter ] no thanks. >> steve: no thanks. >> jimmy: this next one is a d.i.y. book. you know what that stands for? >> steve: do it yourself. >> jimmy: correct. it's a do-it-yourself book. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] "killer slippers." [ laughter ] by nick godlee. a great title. "hey, man, those are killer boat slippers, dude. where'd you buy them?" "you can't by these killer slippers, man. i made these myself." [ laughter ] "think you can just walk into a store and get these potato sack slips." [ laughter ] "methinks not."
>> steve: no dice. >> jimmy: "no dice." let's move on to this next book here. this is for people who are mechanically inclined. it's called "anyone can build a tub-style mechanical chicken plucker" by herrick kimball. [ laughter ] i've always doubted that anyone could build a tub-style mechanical chicken plucker, but this book proved me wrong. you got me, herrick kimball. [ laughter ] we're down to our last book here. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: it's a guy book of sorts. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "living naked and frugal." there you go. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] of all the photos you could've put on the cover, this is the one he chose? [ laughter ] i'm not even sure this is a good idea. >> steve: this is nothing but -- >> jimmy: let's take in -- at the nuts and bolts. [ laughter ] let's take a look inside here. i'm not sure this is a good idea. and it's not a good idea. there you go. [ laughter ] that's all i have for this edition of my "do not read" list. [ cheers and applause ] if you have a book you think should be on our next "do not read" list, i want to see it. send your titles to our blog at
email@example.com. we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] when do you take 5-hour energy? when i'm on the night shift. when they have more energy than i do. when i don't feel like working out. when there isn't enough of me to go around. ♪ when i have school. and work. every morning. it's faster and easier than coffee. every afternoon when that 2:30 feeling hits. -every day. -every day. every day is a 5-hour energy day. [ male announcer ] 5-hour energy. every day. how do we get people to chew another piece? i got this one. oh hey. [ male announcer ] spit it out. or yeti will find you. [ grunts ] i like him. thanks ryan. [ male announcer ] new stride whitemint. the ridiculously long lasting gum.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! i hope you guys are ready. it is time for "battle of the instant bands." here we go! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so, before the show, we went through our great audience and grabbed a bunch of people who said they were musicians. [ light laughter ] people who have never met. and then we split them into two bands. here's a shot of them practicing backstage 20 minutes a go. and now it's time for them to perform. so let's meet them. welcome to the show, you guys. [ cheers and applause ]
hi there, how are you doing? why don't you guys start by telling me your names and where you're from. go for it. >> oh, i'm sam and i'm from new jersey. >> jimmy: hey, good man. sam welcome. [ cheers and applause ] >> stephanie from long island. >> jimmy: stephanie, long island. >> i'm noah from manhattan. >> jimmy: nellan? >> noah. >> jimmy: noah. sorry, nellan's not a name. [ laughter ] i'm sorry. >> pavel from dominican republic. >> jimmy: very good, pavel, very good. welcome you guys. [ scattered applause ] now when you came here today, did you have any idea that you would be performing together? >> no idea. >> jimmy: no, and you've never met before? >> no. >> jimmy: nellan, you don't know pavel? [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not even nil? now, while you were backstage, we asked you to come up with a name for your band. what did you come up with? >> careless whisper. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] that's is good, yeah. >> that gives it more of a wam -- wam fan? >> yeah. >> and jordan michael man. >> jimmy: yeah george michael all the way, yeah. sure. [ light laughter ] let's take a look at your album cover here, you guys. oh, yeah. [ laughter ] that's very blue note, that's very, very good. you don't really play the accordion or anything, do you? >> no. >> jimmy: not at all. >> never. >> jimmy: what are your guys names and where are you guys from? >> i'm anthony from manhattan.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good, anthony. >> i'm adam, also from manhattan. >> jimmy: very good, adam. >> keith from new york. >> jimmy: keith from new york, cool guy. >> i'm matt from australia. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. yeah. matt from australia. a little bright in here, yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] so, what is the name of your band? >> "late night" felons. >> jimmy: "late night" felons? oh, i got you. yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's a play on words. >> jimmy: oh it's a play on words. >> yeah. >> jimmy: spent some time in jail. maybe? [ laughter ] australian jail. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the "late night" felons, very good. here's your album cover. check it out. [ laughter ] pretty decent, yeah. all right, well now the stage is set for the battle. look at it. your entire life comes down to what you do over there. and you only have like 20 minutes to put it all together. all right. careless whisper, what is the name of your song? >> jimmy bound. >> jimmy: jimmy bound. like jimmy band or jimmy bound? [ light laughter ]
it's up to you guys or it's up to interpretation. >> the first one, the first one, jimmy bound. >> jimmy: all right good, you're jimmy bound. very good. go take the stage, you guys. this is very exciting. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, here to perform their song, "jimmy bound." [ light laughter ] i can't believe we got these guys. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for careless whisper! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ walking out of penn station i look to the right and i look to the left ♪ ♪ and what do i see all around people that are jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound, jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound now we're here studio 6b ♪
♪ anothony macky and bill cosby we've got rhythm and we've got soul ♪ ♪ count to 30 rock and roll ♪ ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound, jimmy bound jimmy bound, jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ooh ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's fantastic. come on over. whoa! that was great, pal. thank you so much. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that was phenomenal. what's up -- nellan, my melon, what's up, my dude? [ laughter ] that was great. all right. you guys ready to follow that? [ laughter ] yeah, cool guy? [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, staying cool, man. oh all right. now what is the name of your song, you guys? >> i'm fine. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: that's the name? i'm fine. >> yeah. >> jimmy: very, very good. this is the "late night" felons. yeah. i'm fine? [ laughter ] i like that a lot. why don't you go take your place over on the stage there. they're fine. [ cheers and applause ] they're felons. they are fine. [ applause ] ladies and gentlemen, performing their song "i'm fine," the hit one, give it up for "late night" felons! [ cheers and applause ] woo! ♪ ♪ wooo what's done is done i win and run away from this mess i made ♪ ♪ but now i find i don't why i feel so shamed ♪ ♪ i went away now i'm back again
i found myself ♪ ♪ then i found a way but now i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine --♪ ♪ yeah, yeah yeah-yeah yeah-yeah yeah-yeah ♪ ♪ i'm fine -- woo! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, that was awesome! oh, my gosh. that was great. you guys are so talented. that was 20 minutes they had to write that song. amazing. you guys join me over here. let's get to it. first of a round of applause for both of these guys. [ applause ] that was pretty impressive.
all right, guys. let's get to it. let's pick a winner here. was it -- [ drum roll ] careless whisper? [ cheers and applause ] or was it "late night" felons? [ cheers and applause ] we have a winner. careless whisper, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. >> thank you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: our winners tonight will each be getting a $300 gift certificate to guitar center! [ cheers and applause ] but that's not all, you also get to take home your instruments. so go ahead and go over there and get your gear, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> woo. >> jimmy: thanks you guys so much. i appreciate it. congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] appreciate, congratulations, go on over there. for runners-up, they'll each be getting a $100 gift certificate to guitar center. [ cheers and applause ] and these stylish "late night with jimmy fallon" t-shirts. enjoy those, guys. also thanks to our friends at guitar center, sexy guitar,
yamaha drums, zildjian symbols and -- for this great equipment! congratulations to our winners over there! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] surprising hydration. now from your razor. new schick hydro silk. water-activated serum hydrates your skin longer than any other razor. it's the only one with five blades and skin guards that smooth skin to help reduce irritation. women prefer hydro silk to the leading brand. new schick hydro silk. free your skin. [ male announcer ] mio. a revolutionary water enhancer. add a little or a lot. for a drink that's just the way you like it. and now, try new mio energy.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest just received her sixth academy award nomination for her work as the title character in the film "albert nobbs" which is in theaters right now. ladies and gentlemen please welcome the great glenn close. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> hey everyone. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. >> thank you. >> jimmy: man, you were so great in this movie. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: i mean, its great and
everything -- but -- oh, gosh i saw this movie and it was just gosh what a transformation. it was nuts. >> it was nuts. >> jimmy: i mean, you -- well, lets just show a picture of you. here's you as albert nobbs. i mean, it's phenomenal. it's really -- what do you got some extra earlobe there, right? >> yeah. they made my ears bigger. and just gave me a little change of the tip of my nose. >> jimmy: but, man oh man you just transformed yourself to this character. i felt for you. i was like crying. >> oh, i'm glad. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. just in the opening credits. just crying. had a bad day. but, congrats on that -- >> thanks. >> jimmy: how do you find out? >> well, it was funny i was down -- we live in a village. and we were in our favorite little village coffee shop. and it was so out of my mind because i was talking to my husband about a company that he was involved in that makes fuel oil out of algae. and -- >> jimmy: i think it's on my do not read list. >> yeah. [ laughter ] i know its fascinating. it's absolutely fascinating. >> jimmy: out of algae they make fuel. >> oh, yeah. they can make regular fuel oil out of algae. >> jimmy: i love your husband. he's super fun. >> he is super fun.
>> jimmy: do you remember when you guys invited me over to your table? >> yes. >> jimmy: i was eating by myself. at this restaurant. and you were like, "you look so lonely. do you want to come over and eat with us?" [ laughter ] then we had a meal together. >> right. so anyway he came back. we came back to the apartment the phone rang. and you know i was thinking about algae, fuel. fuel, algae. and you've won an oscar nomination. >> jimmy: and you like, "oh, my gosh. this is crazy." >> yeah. it was wonderful. >> jimmy: are you -- were you shooting "damages" at the time or no? >> shooting "damages" -- i had to go to work that afternoon. >> jimmy: did they all celebrate? >> oh, my gosh. when i got on the set they gave me a round of applause. they've been so supportive letting me out, you know, to do things. to publicize the movie and they've been really supportive. and they all came up -- >> jimmy: and you -- janet mcteer she got nominated as well. your partner. >> she did. she did. >> jimmy: in the movie she was great as well. i have a picture of her. she's much taller than you. >> she is. >> jimmy: yeah. look at this. much taller than you there. [ laughter ] resting her arm on you. >> we were all talking because when you get an nomination you get all these calls to talk to press. and david was there and he said, "aren't you -- aren't you tired of being shorter than janet?"
i said, "yeah i am." so i went and got a ladder. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. much better. much better. that's genius. do you guys bond together? do you guys become friends from the movie? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: and now she is on "damages." >> she's on "damages." and it's really fun. >> jimmy: "albert nobbs" please let everyone know what its about. it's awesome. you have to go see it. >> "albert nobbs" it's a story about a woman who in order to survive because there was such time in 19th century britain where women had no rights. and she doesn't know her name. she was no money. no family. and in order to survive she disappears in the guise of a waiter. and we find her 30 years later. so this is a person who has never had any, any real intimate human contact. and really has never been in a home. and the story begins when she's bitten by a flea. and her life changes. >> jimmy: that's true. yeah. that's interesting. i forgot. that's exactly what happened. [ laughter ] i forgot about that thing. she is bitten by a flea. and then she's kind of --
well, she's a man in this -- in this -- its like a bed and breakfast? >> it a hotel. it's a family hotel. >> jimmy: it's a family hotel. it's almost like a upstairs, downstairs type of abbey type of vibe. if that's the thing you like. and you were going to freak out about this movie. it's so good. >> yeah. we have wonderful, wonderful actors. >> jimmy: and you do get bitten by a flea. and you jump out of bed. and just parts fall out. >> yeah. i wish they fell out a little further than they did. >> jimmy: oh, come on. hilarious. >> see it in the movie you'll know what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: it's fine. but then -- you know what i really loved? this great song that's in the movie. and at the end i'm watching the credits crying. and i just cried the whole movie. no, i'm just kidding. i wasn't crying. but, i'm looking at the credits. and you wrote the songs. beautiful songs. >> i wrote the lyrics. >> jimmy: you wrote the lyrics? great song. [ applause ] >> i'm proud of it. >> jimmy: did you know you could write songs? have you written songs before? >> i -- you know, way back i kind of just for a little while.
but, i hadn't done it for a long, long time. >> jimmy: its killer. and yet sinead o'conner singing it. >> sinead o'conner. yeah. >> jimmy: how did you get her to do it? >> well, she's kind of a dream. i mean, sinead o'conner is kick ass. >> jimmy: yeah she is. >> i really like that whole side of her. and she's irish. and it takes place in ireland. we called and they told us a price that was so beyond us. you know, we were a little independent film. and then we sent her a rough cut of the movie. and low and behold all of a sudden she was able to do it. the incredible thing is she did it bucharest. our composer who was directing the session did it in his mom's kitchen in dublin. and i had listened in on my computer up in maine. >> jimmy: it's unbelievable. it's so great. i was so proud of you. i was like, "oh, my gosh. you're killing it." >> i can't tell you how thrilling it was. >> jimmy: it was great. you got nominated for a golden globe. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: come on. you're getting so many awards. it's awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> and i didn't win. >> jimmy: that doesn't matter, right? >> it does matter. >> jimmy: we have a clip. here's glenn close in "albert nobbs." take a look at this.
>> i was wondering miss dorris if you would care to come out for a walk? >> pardon me, mr. nobbs? >> i'm off duty at three tomorrow. and if you're not engaged. >> engaged? no, i'm not engaged mr. nobbs. but, are you asking me to walk out with you? >> i am. >> well, the thing is i'm walking out with joe macans. i don't know what he'd say if i started walking out with you as well. >> oh, yes. good night, miss dorris. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i feel so bad for you. you're so -- i mean, how do you do that? you're such a good actor. it was amazing. >> well, i have to tell you though hair and make-up people also got nominated for an oscar. >> jimmy: they did? oh, good.
they deserve it as well. it was unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] >> they do. they do. the transformation was remarkable. and their challenge was to make us look authentically like women who could be mistaken for men with as little make-up as possible. and so that is -- they represent the finest of their art. and the man who made our wigs, martial corneville, who's been my collaborator for 20 years. and he is world class artist. >> jimmy: it is just phenomenal. i feel so bad for your character. she's so confused. and the thing is there is no one to turn to. it's just really heartbreaking and great. >> but, she doesn't feel sorry for herself. >> jimmy: you are such a fun person. and i know you in real life. i'm like, "glenn." come on. >> albert doesn't feel sorry for herself. >> jimmy: no albert does not. but, it's well done. more with glenn close when we come back you guys. we're going to have some fun. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, i am here in with the great glenn close. she always has fun games to teach me every time you come on. and tonight she's going to show us how to do a bit of movie magic at home. you're going to show me how i can have a similar transformation, like you had with "albert nobbs." >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: okay, now i know your husband, david shaw, is the real expert on this. can we bring him out to consult? >> yes. >> jimmy: david?
come on out. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] you're going to be consulting on this. >> yeah. he's actually going to do it. >> jimmy: oh really? >> he does it better than i. i'm still learning the technique, it takes a long time to do it right. >> you have to study makeup technique, you'll see how it works. >> yeah. so, please have a seat. please have a seat. >> jimmy: all right. little nervous. >> and david -- you know, i mean, transformation is very, very, very important when you're -- when you do what i do. but i didn't know that there are things that you can do at home that you can get into -- now, how 'bout gender? >> jimmy: yeah. >> well, i was going to say, obviously in glenn's film, the makeup included a gender change and i'm not sure we're going try that tonight. >> jimmy: thank you. [ light laughter ] working on this face, right? yeah. okay. >> going to need a long one, really. >> okay, okay, a long one. >> could you get me a long one and just take this back, please? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: this is exciting. this is movie magic. [ rhythmic snapping ] ♪ >> i -- i really love being the assistant here because i'm learning it. you know, you have to learn how
to do it. >> jimmy: yeah, this is -- have you worked on other films before, david? [ laughter ] >> this is -- i consider this sort of an audition for -- >> jimmy: i'm trying not to laugh. >> okay, hold on. >> yeah, got it. got it. >> jimmy: all right, this feels good. [ light laughter ] >> what size do you want? >> oh, that should be it. >> is it sticking to the makeup? >> yeah. >> i'll put this -- >> yeah. thank you. it's nice to have a makeup assistant. i think that -- >> jimmy: that's good? we got it? >> how much you want on? ♪ >> jimmy: oh, it's so good. >> how much do you have on your side? >> jimmy: it feels good. yup. >> all right. just give me one more piece. >> jimmy: oh yeah, yeah, yeah. you need that one more piece. >> we may still have time for the gender change if you want to. >> jimmy: no, no. [ light laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. >> all right, good. what's this thing? >> jimmy: you ready? >> where'd that come from? yeah. okay glenn, that's it. >> okay. >> thank you. >> jimmy: all right, good. you guys ready? >> yeah.
>> jimmy: is it good? [ drum roll ] >> i think we got it. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> it's okay to laugh. >> jimmy: i can't. [ cheers and applause ] >> too much makeup on. >> jimmy: really good. >> and we used duct tape. we used duct tape. >> jimmy: i'm going to host the rest of the show like this. [ laughter ] this is so weird looking. can we do it -- can we do it to you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: come on, really? [ applause ] [ rhythmic snapping ] ♪ >> what role do you want to play? >> jimmy: uh -- okay. >> actually putting it on or doing the tape? >> jimmy: i'll do the tape part. >> do my eyes, pull my eyes down. >> jimmy: oh my god. [ laughter ] that might be good enough there. >> no, we need a long one. >> jimmy: a long, yeah, definitely.
yeah, yeah, yeah. that's it. that's it right there. this is it. this is perfect. don't touch -- don't touch, i think it's great. >> she pulled it off. >> i'm screwing it up. >> jimmy: you want fresh tape? >> yeah. >> jimmy: fresh tape. take that one off, put a fresh one on it. >> all the makeup is -- i'm not used to this. around the house, you know? >> jimmy: yeah, that's good. perfect. ready? [ laughter ] beautiful! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> i think we could take them. don't try this at home. >> jimmy: movie magic, you guys. my thanks to david shaw and glenn close. "albert nobbs" in theatres anywhere. emmy rossum joins us next, come on back everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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emmy, looking gorge. >> thank you. >> jimmy: uh, how was the flight in, pal? >> it was good. it was good. i just flew in a couple days ago. but you know how they give you those movies to watch on the -- on the plane? i chose, uh, "contagion." >> jimmy: oh, no. why would you do that? >> i don't know. i really wanted to see it. it was excellent film. >> jimmy: when you're stuck on a plane? >> excellent film. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then, as we're landing, just everyone's coughing and sneezing and i'm just -- >> jimmy: and you're like, "it's happening!" >> i go to, you know, to freshen up in the ladies, and i look at the handle and i'm like, "no, i can't." >> jimmy: "no, i can't touch anything." >> can't go in there, so -- >> jimmy: you're opening the door like this. >> definitely. yeah, like -- using napkins to touch -- and i'm so not a germy person. >> jimmy: yeah. no, i mean, gosh i can't -- >> it's really -- >> jimmy: one thing you can't think about is germs. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't think. i can't do it anymore. >> it's a bad choice. >> jimmy: well, then the whole day's ruined. i remember i saw a woman on the street and, uh -- with her kid. and her kid spit out her binky. you know, the thing -- on the street. >> i love that you call it a binky. >> jimmy: did i make that up? >> no, no, it's like a little pacifier. >> jimmy: yeah, pacifier. >> a "pacie." >> jimmy: well, an adult would call it that.
yes, yes. [ laughter ] >> spit out her binky. okay. >> jimmy: so, she spit out her binky. >> binky. >> jimmy: "spit out your binky" is my new book. it's for kids. everyone should get it. so, anyways, i picked up the woman's, uh, the kid's binky -- >> binky. >> jimmy: and i gave it to the woman. i said, "here, do you want to wipe it off?" the woman goes, "are you kidding me? that's my second child." and put it right back in the kids mouth. >> wow. yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we're not worried about that anymore. second kid. >> not even a wet one or anything. >> jimmy: first kid you worry about that stuff. second kid, no. >> yeah, no. you're fine. >> jimmy: right back in the mouth. kid's like -- [ sucking noise ] >> awesome. >> jimmy: uh, do you ever play games in your flight? when you're -- like, you know -- >> i do. in fact, now they have this wi-fi on. and i can actually play a game on my phone with the wi-fi. i've been playing this "words with friends." >> jimmy: oh, no, you can't do that on the airplane. >> wait, no, no, no. but now you can because they've enabled wi-fi. >> jimmy: no, but alec baldwin made sure that you can't do it anymore. >> so, wait -- i know. see, i only found the game -- [ laughter ] i only found the game because of alec baldwin. because i heard, well, he got kicked off that plane that game must be really awesome if he got kicked off the plane. >> jimmy: is it worth getting thrown off a flight to play it? yeah. >> right, it must be awesome. so i downloaded it. and now i can't stop playing it. and i did play my whole flight. >> jimmy: it's addictive. >> it's on the wi-fi.
yeah. >> jimmy: who do you play? like, your co-stars? >> i play -- no, i play my -- my friends, my friends from on the show, but -- >> jimmy: are you good at it? >> i'm -- i'm decent. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm decent. but there are some people who are really excellent. i actually think one of my girlfriend's cheating. because i found that there's an app that you can cheat with. 'cause i'll play, like, cat or basket. >> jimmy: yeah. >> simple picnics. simple words. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then she'll play words that i can't pronounce. >> jimmy: yeah. >> with, like, an "x" for 100,000 points. >> jimmy: ah! i hate those words. >> i'm like there's no -- there's no -- you're smart, but you're not that smart. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> there's -- there's no way you know coeval. which, apparently, means of or about the same age. because i had to look it up. >> jimmy: coeval? >> coeval. >> jimmy: how do you spell coeval. >> c-o-e-v-a-l. for 89 points. >> jimmy: never! that's not even -- she would never. >> and then -- and then -- >> jimmy: no one would ever say coeval. >> and then everyone plays "q-i." >> jimmy: what does it mean? >> which i think is another word for, like, tea or chi energy. but that's always, like, a bazzilion points if you get it on the double. >> jimmy: that's the only thing i can do with a "q," man. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. 'cause you never get -- >> it's the only way to play the "q" without a "u." >> jimmy: to answer your question, yeah, exactly, talking
about "q" -- >> anyways, alec baldwin has ruined my life. >> jimmy: i love that though. i know you're a new yorker, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: uh, you like being back here, hanging out? >> i do. i love it. i -- i got to hang out with my family. and i was roaming around -- i was roaming around the city over christmas and i -- >> jimmy: yeah. oh, well, it was very nice. >> went up to, uh, uptown and i saw, actually, last night, this bus that was -- there are all these "shameless" busses everywhere. i get very excited. but this one had been graffitied. >> jimmy: new york city is the greatest place on earth. >> so we were -- thank you. apparently, i think they cut out the -- >> jimmy: "shameless," yeah. >> the "a" and the "e" and just swapped them. >> jimmy: now where does this happen? like, in the bus depot? i mean, where does this -- >> actually this was just a block away. >> jimmy: it was -- really? was it really? >> yeah. right here in -- >> jimmy: well, i was bored last night and i figured well, why not. [ light laughter ] but you're -- >> thanks for not drawing a little mustache. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, exactly, or worse. you, uh -- "shameless" season two, you're killing it once again. congrats. >> thanks. >> jimmy: yeah. do you, uh -- do you ever read the scripts in time to -- oh, please. [ applause ] >> jimmy: your character's a mess.
>> she is. >> jimmy: kind of, yeah. and, uh, you're cheating -- you -- you're dating this guy but he's married. he's cheating. >> and he was my high school crush. i think that, you know, i still fantasize about him. i think he's, like, the most hottest thing ever. and then, when we finally actually sleep together, and meanwhile, i know he's married and it's against my moral code, it's possibly the worst experience. in his minivan with pictures of his kids everywhere. and there's a sandwich of his -- like baby food stuck to my leg and he's making, like, chipmunk noises, and it's just -- >> jimmy: yeah, loose -- loose binky here and there. >> the worst thing ever. [ light laughter ] >> and -- and then i -- well, yeah, i think there was a binky somewhere. or in the car seat. >> jimmy: uh, but, the wife -- the -- his wife -- >> she retaliates -- >> jimmy: she retaliates. >> in this coming episode, yeah. >> jimmy: and she whips the milkshake at you. >> she -- she does. she -- she is in the same minivan. and she throws a milkshake at me and screams slut. >> jimmy: there you go. uh, and how many -- how many takes was that? >> well, you would think it would be easy. >> jimmy: one take. >> like, just throw the milkshake at my head. but, they had it, like, jerry-rigged on some, like,
almost like a rubber band that, like, was supposed to make it spurt more. >> jimmy: why? oh, my god. >> because they were doing, like, super frames per second. >> jimmy: for maximum milkshake splatter you've got to get that rubber band and there -- >> and it wasn't -- >> jimmy: it's going to take us ten hours to set up. >> it was, like, whipped cream, and dairy, and chocolate powder, and so i think we have that. >> jimmy: uh, we have a clip. check this out. here's emmy rossum in "shameless." >> how 'bout you invite some friends over and can relax in the pool? >> no lifeguard. liability. >> they can come over, hang out in the pool, and then sleep over. it'll be, like, a birthday party, sleep over party. >> my birthday's not until october. >> hey, it's somebody's birthday somewhere so we'll celebrate that. make a guest list. make your list, or i will. ♪ >> slut!
[ tires screech ] >> did you know he was married? at least it's chocolate. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: taking one for the team. >> that is taking one for the team. >> jimmy: you're great. "shameless" airs sundays at 9:00 p.m. on showtime. emmy rossum, everybody. nada surf performs next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] for some reason
sound a whole lot better when you put them in a taco shell instead of a pyramid. old el paso. when you gotta have mexican. fantastic! pro-gresso ] they fit! okay-y... okay??? i've been eating progresso and now my favorite old jeans...fit. okay is there a woman i can talk to? [ male announcer ] progresso. 40 soups 100 calories or less. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests just released their seventh album, "the stars are indifferent to astronomy." we're thrilled to have them here tonight to perform the song "waiting for something." please welcome nada surf! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ oh my my who's that child where is he going to why is he so wild ♪ ♪ what is he staring at why is he so taken seems like he's choosing to believe ♪ ♪ even when he is faking it always feels like i'm waiting for something it always feels like i'm ♪ ♪ waiting for something it always feels like i'm waiting it always feels like i'm ♪ ♪ waiting for something losing energy
hard to hold well, i am looking for it now ♪ ♪ when will be when i'm old whoever put that fist in the square must have been the good ♪ ♪ friend to the mayor driving by spanish roundabout arc it's gotta be who you know ♪ ♪ it always feels like i'm waiting for something it always feels like i'm waiting for something ♪ ♪ it always feels like i'm waiting it always feels like i'm waiting for something ♪ ♪ have i known you for ten thousand days is there no other way to go ♪ ♪ it always feels like i'm waiting for something